Discipline, wordle 97

Discipline.

I wish I had it.

I missed it as a child,

rebelled against it as a teenager

and forgot all about it as an adult.

I flitted through marriages,

children, friends, work,

feeling heroic for moments,

but lacking patience

for the long haul.

I sit here gazing into my past,

remembering the sublime -

writhing in guilt at my follies

and when my heart is like fit to burst

I stare at a stone – ancient, veined -

from a time when prophets roamed

and spoke of love

and I feel tears stealing out.

Maybe I have reached my limits

of self abuse.

Perhaps now, as the swallows fly back

and the Spring sun warms my bones,

I can see some definition,

something akin to discipline,

threaded through the years.